It used to be that this idea was a given.  For our grandparents, our parents and even for some of us who are a bit older.  Of course we all sat down together for dinner.  What else were we supposed to do?  Where else would we be?  We probably did not realize that that time together was part of glue that held our families, our family life together.  It was simply something we did every night after everyone was home from school and work.  It was part of our daily lives.  A time to share and break bread and reflect, together, on the things that had taken place in each of our days.

Sadly, nowadays, this is not a given.  And of all times when this tradition should be vitally important, it is often ignored.  In this age of techology, when we communicate so often through technology, be it cell phones, emails, social networking websites, etc., human, face to face, eye to eye contact is not experienced.  But we are social creatures.  We need, desire and crave that human touch.  Desire to look into someone else’s eyes and see their soul reflected there.  It’s all well and good to express your feelings and talk about your day’s happenings in a quick post on Facebook or what have you, but let’s be honest, are we completely honest in those posts?  Do we really want to all those people our most intimate and private thoughts and feelings?  I don’t think we do.  And even if we do, something, by the very nature of such communication, gets lost in the translation.  A smily face cannot possibly express true, unabashed joy.  In the same way, a sad face doesn’t express the true depth and breadth of sadness.  Is it just a little ouch or is it gut wrenching sobs?

And who better to share these most honest feelings with than with the people who matter most to you?  Your family.  Whether it’s gathering around the dining room table, sitting on a blanket having a picnic, or what have you, the mere act of sitting down with each other, passing the potatoes and the salt and pepper, breaking bread can be a healing part of our long, often arduous day.  We can let our hair down, smile across the table at our spouse or children, refortify our beings-both physically and emotionally by simply sharing that little half an hour together.   (A key point here is to do so without distractions such as a television or the interruption of phone calls-we turn our phones off during our dinner time.)  This is a time to focus on one another, on our family, to let each other know that the other people are more important to us than other things that can demand our attention.

One of my dearest friends told me a long time ago that one of the things that her grown children always talked about when they got together later in life was how important that family dinner was to them in their memories.  They recalled how no matter how crazy their day had been, they knew that at dinner time, they would all gather and there was someone there who cared and would listen to them.  Those are the types of things I hope my children remember most.

So often, we get caught in with thinking that what will matter most to our children when they are grown up and on their own will be their memories of material things we were able to give them.  But when you think back on your childhood, do you remember what you got for your 12th birthday or the times you and your family were just hanging out, being together?  Those happy and warm memories.  They are the ones that fill you with those warm, fuzzy feelings of yesterday.

We all need a time in our day to reconnect with other people.  Life can get crazy busy, schedules often get so heavy we don’t know how to find, but let’s try to remember how important those face to face connections are, for ourselves as well as the loved ones in our lives, and make time to, on a more frequent basis, to sit down at the family dinner table together.

One more step completed this morning in my back to college journey.  Met with my advisor at UNCA and we plotted out a course of action so I can finish up my bachelor’s degree.  Tomorrow evening I must attend the transfer student’s orientation and then I can finally register for my fall classes on Thursday afternoon.  All my ducks are in their proverbial row as far as all my transcripts, immunization records, etc, being processed and approved.  Yeah!  So, while my five children all start school on August 17th this year, mommy will be heading back, too, on August 23rd.  I know it will be challenge as I plan on taking 4-5 classes, but I will make it.  Plus, it will be fun to sit down in the evenings with the kids at the dining room table and do our homework together.

I had the most wonderful Mother’s day this year.  Nothing exotic, expensive or frilly.  Just a relaxing, fun day with my five children and my husband.  I slept in, until 10:30 am, and got up to a spic and span house.  Joe and the kids had cleaned the entire downstairs, including mopping the kitchen floor! I promised myself that I would take the whole day and not work a lick and I stuck to that promise.  (A very difficult thing for a workaholic to do.)

After hanging out on the front porch, sipping my several cups of morning coffee, we all piled in the car and headed over the NC Arboretum.  We took a leisurely four plus mile hike around their grounds.  The weather was just perfect.  Not too hot, a nice breeze blowing through the trees, clear blue skies.  When we got back home, Joe and the kids made a delicious pork roast with potatoes and applesauce.  It was the perfect way, the perfect day to celebrate motherhood.  Relaxing, cherishing and spending time with my family.  Yep.  Life is good.

HOLT INTRODUCES FARM TO SCHOOL BILL TO FIGHT CHILDHOOD OBESITY, SUPPORT
LOCAL FARMERS
(Washington, D.C.) – U.S. Rep. Rush Holt (NJ-12) has introduced legislation
that would create a Farm to School grant program to fight childhood obesity
and support local farmers. The Child Nutrition Act is up for reauthorization
this year, and Holt – a member of the House Committee on Education and Labor
- is working to improve how food is sourced for the 31 million children that
eat at school five days a week, 180 days a year.

“Farm to school programs exemplify the best use of federal school lunch
dollars,” Holt said. “This is a rare opportunity for a win-win solution- a
program to ensure our children get the best quality food at school, help
foster local farm job growth, and create local economic growth.”

Video of Holt talking about the legislation with school nutrition experts
can be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs52sHtZRkU.

The Farm to School Improvements Act (H.R. 4710) would establish a
competitive grant and technical assistance program to increase the use of
local foods from small and medium sized farms in schools. The grant funds
also would improve the relationships between schools and local food
providers. The legislation would provide $10 million in mandatory funding
each year for the duration of the program and require that grant recipients
provide a local match to ensure serious commitment to the project.

Farm to School programs have shown that locally and regionally produced food
can be provided efficiently from nearby producers if there is a good
distribution system.  The grants authorized by this legislation would
provide communities the seed money they need to develop robust,
economically-sustainable programs linking agricultural producers with
schools.

“This seed funding could not come at a better time as the interest and need
for Farm to School programs is at an all time high,” said Marion Kalb,
co-Director of the National Farm to School Network. “HR 4710 will create
competitive, one-time grants that can be used to develop vendor
relationships with nearby farmers, plan seasonal menus and promotional
materials, start a school garden, or develop hands-on nutrition education.”

Farm to School programs can:

*    Strengthen children’s and communities’ knowledge about, and
attitudes toward, agriculture, food, nutrition and the environment.
*    Increase children’s participation in the school meals program and
consumption of fruits and vegetables, improving childhood nutrition,
reducing hunger, and preventing obesity and obesity-related diseases.
*    Benefit school food budgets, after start-up, if planning and menu
choices are made consistent with seasonal availability of fresh and
minimally processed whole foods.
*    Support economic development across numerous sectors and promote job
creation.
*    Increase market opportunities for farmers, fishers, ranchers, food
processors and food manufacturers.
*    Decrease the distance between producers and consumers of fresh
agricultural products, thus promoting food security while reducing emissions
of greenhouse gases and reliance on oil.

“In these challenging fiscal times, every dollar we spend must not only meet
immediate needs but also make lasting improvements for the future,” Holt
added. “Because school food programs currently provide more than half the
daily calories for many children, it is vital that these calories are
healthy ones.  Farm to school programs increase the availability of fresh
and locally grown food that improve our children’s daily nutrition and can
lead to permanent improvements in their diets and productivity and can
reduce future health care costs associated with obesity by billions of
dollars.”

Recently,  in a large city in France ,
a poster  featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a  gym.
It said,  ”This summer,
do you want  to be a mermaid or a whale?”

A middle aged woman, whose  physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the  poster,
responded  publicly to the question
posed by  the gym.

To Whom it May Concern, Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have  an active sex life,
get  pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time  with dolphins stuffing themselves with  shrimp.
They play  and swim in the seas,
seeing  wonderful places like Patagonia ,
the Bering  Sea
and the  coral reefs of Polynesia .
Whales are  wonderful singers
and have  even recorded CDs.
They are incredible  creatures
and  virtually have no predators
other than  humans.
They are  loved, protected and admired
by almost  everyone in the world..

Mermaids don’t exisit.If they did  exist,
they would  be lining up outside the offices
of  Argentinean psychoanalysts
due to  identity crisis. Fish or human?
They don’t  have a sex life
because  they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they  have sex?
Just look  at them … where is IT?
Therefore,  they don’t have kids either.
Not to  mention,
who wants  to get close to a girl who smells
like a fish  store?
The choice is perfectly clear to  me:
I want to  be a whale.
P..S. We are in an age
when media  puts into our heads
the idea  that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice  cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and  a piece of chocolate with my friends.
With time,  we gain weight
because we  accumulate so much information and wisdom in our  heads
that when  there is no more room,
it  distributes out to the rest of our bodies.
So we aren’t  heavy,
we are  enormously cultured,
educated  and happy.
Beginning today,
when I look  at my butt in the mirror I will think, Good grief, look how smart I  am!

Love note from my husband, today, our 20th anniversary:

“Willy Wonka might not have been right. The man who got everything he wantED, might not have lived happily ever after. I know that I have more than I could have ever dreamed of. Everything I have, every adventure we’ve had, every story that people tell about us is because of YOU. My sweet Lorelei. Please forgive me if sometimes I forget that. The best thing I ever did was to go to 45 Cherry Street that night. Always know that you are the reason I smile, the reason I breathe. I can’t imagine what the next 20 years and beyond will bring, but I know it will be wonderful because I’ll spend it with you. I love you.”

Oh, yeah, that’s the man I married!

Me and Joe

Decked the Halls

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to each and every one of you and your families. We hope that 2009 was a blessed year for you. As Joe is stringing the lights on our tree, a project that always tends to be a ‘stay out of the way’ job, I thought I would take this time to write our 2009 Christmas letter.

We have had a wonderful and fun filled year despite the economic crisis that has been so prevalent in all our lives. Although Joe’s hours at work were cut back some, we are thankful that he still has a job. My business has remained steady despite losing a few clients that sadly had to close their doors. Always sad and disheartening to witness. In May, my mother and I flew out to Kansas City for my oldest niece’s high school graduation. I had not been to the Midwest in thirteen years so it was fun to go back for a few days. We were lucky enough to be able to stay with my brother and his family and we had a fabulous time visiting. In late June, we headed to Edisto Island, SC for a family vacation with my sister and her family. We had never been there before and found it so beautiful, quiet, remote and relaxing. No high rises along the beach. Just a quiet, quaint beach town, like beach towns used to be. We stayed in a nice condo just two buildings down from Amy and her family. This was Frankie’s first trip to the ocean! We spent a week there, playing in the surf, watching the dolphins, flying kites and enjoying each other with no interruptions. In early July, we went to Cataloochee for our annual camping trip with all our friends for four days. Always a great time in the woods, playing in the creek, hanging out around the campfire, eating s’mores, seeing the elk, and sleeping in tents. Not more than a week after that, Joe and his mother flew out to Sante Fe, NM for our oldest niece’s wedding. All his family was there for the celebration, all the way from Spain and Ecuador! He had a fabulous time spending time with all of them. So, all in all, we had a great time with our travels throughout the summer.

In March, Meghan, Topher and TJ turned nine years old. Hard to believe when you look back at those early days that we made it so far. In August, the oldest four started back to school. James is in his final year of middle school, in the 8^th grade. Wow, high school is only a few months away for him. Yikes! Topher, TJ and Meghan are in 4^th grade this year. One more year in elementary school for them. Frankie will start kindergarten this coming August. Holy moly. James was on the cross country team this fall and fell right into the rhythm of being a runner. He has also participated in two 5K runs over the past few months and plans on doing more in the coming year. He is taking a break from sports during the winter months, but will try out for track and field in the spring. The triplets are all in the Odyssey of the Mind program after school and Joe is their team’s coach. (OM is a fabulous program. If you get a chance, check it out online at odysseyofthemind.com) They also participated in Super Saturdays at the University of NC-Asheville for six consecutive Saturdays in the fall. It is an enrichment program for A/B students. Topher took a class called Math Discoveries; TJ took hand-built pottery; and Meghan took beginning knitting. They will undoubtedly do it again in the spring. All three of them are also in the chorus in school. As you can imagine, all these activities keep us all hopping, but they’re fun and the kids are learning so much. We are so very proud of each and every one of them for their talents and accomplishments.

We spent a lot of time this summer and fall canning. Made our traditional trek out to Hendersonville to the orchard for apple picking in early September. Our canning this year included: bread and butter pickles, dill pickles, peach butter, 49 quarts of grape juice (from our own grape vine!), applesauce, apple butter, apple pie filling in a jar, and spiced apple rings. We ended up running out of room to store our canned treasures, so Joe built a gorgeous canning shelf which sits regally in our dining room, filled with beautiful jars of our concoctions.

We are still loving our beautiful old farmhouse and we are decking it out for the holidays, of course. The kids are excited about Christmas and we’re having fun making and baking cookies and candies and other holiday favorite goodies. Christmas Eve will find us at church and then home for our grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup dinner. Christmas day will find us up early, opening gifts and sipping coffee and hot cocoa in our jammies and then having our traditional Christmas day dinner of leg of lamb and other yummies with family. We always hope for a white Christmas, but chances are slim on that one.

We love you all and are blessed to have you in our lives. Enjoy this special time of the year and know that you are in our thoughts and our hearts!

Love and Peace,

The Kanes-Lori, Joe, James, Topher, Meghan, TJ and Frankie

It is my sincere hope that everyone had as wonderful a Thanksgiving as we did here at Hearth Haven (what we have named our home). The bounty of blessings that enveloped us all in the form of loving friends and family, the enticing aromas and flavors of home cooked food, the chatter of all the voices and soothing music in the background warmed us through and through.

And now, we are headed into December. We always begin the month with a birthday celebration for our oldest son, James. This year he is going to be 14. Still not sure how that happened, it has. And he is growing into such an incredible young man. Kind, considerate, empathic, caring, honest and loving. We couldn’t be prouder.

Then it will be into the homestretch as we approach Christmas. A great deal of thought and time goes into our gift exchanging. We used to find ourselves caught up in the ‘gotta haves’ but have learned  how much more special the holidays have become since forethought and care and consideration have become the norm. What would mean the most to this person? Is there something I can make for him/her? What are their needs and desires right now? It’s become not about how much but about how much thought.

Thanksgiving 2009

It’s almost the big day. The kids are talking about their favorite things to eat. Our tree of giving looks beautiful and I’m so glad our children know how blessed they are. Today we made our stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin cake. We toasted our slivered almonds and pine nuts for the sauteed green beans. Did some other prep work, too, so more time can be spent sitting and visiting with our family and friends. I’ll be picking up my mother in Hendersonville around 9am then come back to get the turkey in the oven. The rest of our guests will be here around 2pm. In the morning, we will also watch the Macy’s Parade, as is our tradition. I guess tonight we’ll be dreaming of turkey, gravy, ham and sweet potatoes.

Happy Thanksgiving, one and all!

Our Tree of Thanks

The preparations for our Thanksgiving feast are well under way. Joe just went to his mother’s to pick up our extra long table. Last night the kids and I made our pumpkin pie. Today we’ve made the stuffing, a pumpkin cake, whole berry cranberry sauce, and toasted the nuts for the sauteed green beans. The kids have also cut out all the leaves for our Tree of Thanks which will be on display tomorrow. Everyone will write some things they are thankful for on the leaves and then hang them on the tree.

We’ve cleaned out the refrigerators (yes, we have two. With a family of seven, it’s pretty much a necessity!) to make sure there’s room for everything. The turkey is thawing. I’ve made what I hope is my last run to the grocery store. Things that need to be refrigerated are in the frig, just chillin’.

And we have such a beautiful to celebrate. The sky is blue and it’s in the low 60′s. Thank you, Universe!