What has happened to our sense of community?  Our sense of neighbor helping neighbor?  For hundreds and thousands of years, that is how our societies worked.  And it worked well.  If our neighbor needed help harvesting their crops, the people in his/her community didn’t think twice about lending a hand.  Young and old turned out to pitch in.  If a barn needed raising, if someone was ill, if someone was in need, those closest to you came to your aid.  Why?  Because by helping your loved ones, by assisting your neighbors, you also helped yourself, you strengthened your community.

Over the past 50-100 years, that mindset has gone by the wayside.  It’s become all about looking out for number one.  It’s all about ME.  We’ve distanced ourselves, physically and emotionally from those around us, even our own families.  Where there used to be the family homestead, now families are spread so far and wide from each other that if they see each other once a year, it’s a miracle.  Sure, there is the internet, skype, text messaging, telephones, but that human, face to face touch is much too often pushed aside.  We don’t have time to sit down together and visit.  Instead we pop off a quick text message and feel like we’ve done our duty of keeping in touch.  There’s no more welcome wagon welcoming new people into our neighborhoods.  Someone new moves in next door and we barely greet them or introduce ourselves.  Don’t want to get too close.  We wouldn’t bother with asking to borrow a cup of sugar from the lady next door.  Just hop in the car and run to the store.  Much easier than walking a few steps over.  There’s something wrong with that picture.

We do not know what is going in the lives of our neighbors, and even more sadly, we barely know what is happening in the lives of our parents or siblings or children who live hundreds of miles away.  Oh, we talk to them now and then, but do we really know the whole story?  We don’t know who needs what.  And today, the question is, even if we did know that our family or neighbor needed some help with something, would we actually help them?  Or would that interfere with our lives too much and so we would simply ignore the need?

What worked for generation upon generation in the past could still work today if we would just get back to those basic things of caring for and about our community.  Of looking out for one another.  Of taking the time to ask our friends and family members what is really going on in their lives, actually listening to their answers and then responding.  Because the world has gotten so big and so immediate, we see this huge, massive picture of all the ills in the world, and I think sometimes we just give up and think  there is nothing we can do.  It’s too much.  But it’s not.  Not if we start at the home.  Start with the small circle.  Your family, your neighbors, your community.  As we start there and help them get stronger, then we all get stronger.  We feel empowered.  It starts with that first ripple in the pond and can then branch out from there.  We need to embrace those around us, lend a willing and helping hand, reach out to those in need.  Only then can our community grow and thrive.  One day, one person, one family at a time.  We must put the unity back in our lives and our communities.  We have to return to the basics.

Love note from my husband, today, our 20th anniversary:

“Willy Wonka might not have been right. The man who got everything he wantED, might not have lived happily ever after. I know that I have more than I could have ever dreamed of. Everything I have, every adventure we’ve had, every story that people tell about us is because of YOU. My sweet Lorelei. Please forgive me if sometimes I forget that. The best thing I ever did was to go to 45 Cherry Street that night. Always know that you are the reason I smile, the reason I breathe. I can’t imagine what the next 20 years and beyond will bring, but I know it will be wonderful because I’ll spend it with you. I love you.”

Oh, yeah, that’s the man I married!

Me and Joe

Decked the Halls

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to each and every one of you and your families. We hope that 2009 was a blessed year for you. As Joe is stringing the lights on our tree, a project that always tends to be a ‘stay out of the way’ job, I thought I would take this time to write our 2009 Christmas letter.

We have had a wonderful and fun filled year despite the economic crisis that has been so prevalent in all our lives. Although Joe’s hours at work were cut back some, we are thankful that he still has a job. My business has remained steady despite losing a few clients that sadly had to close their doors. Always sad and disheartening to witness. In May, my mother and I flew out to Kansas City for my oldest niece’s high school graduation. I had not been to the Midwest in thirteen years so it was fun to go back for a few days. We were lucky enough to be able to stay with my brother and his family and we had a fabulous time visiting. In late June, we headed to Edisto Island, SC for a family vacation with my sister and her family. We had never been there before and found it so beautiful, quiet, remote and relaxing. No high rises along the beach. Just a quiet, quaint beach town, like beach towns used to be. We stayed in a nice condo just two buildings down from Amy and her family. This was Frankie’s first trip to the ocean! We spent a week there, playing in the surf, watching the dolphins, flying kites and enjoying each other with no interruptions. In early July, we went to Cataloochee for our annual camping trip with all our friends for four days. Always a great time in the woods, playing in the creek, hanging out around the campfire, eating s’mores, seeing the elk, and sleeping in tents. Not more than a week after that, Joe and his mother flew out to Sante Fe, NM for our oldest niece’s wedding. All his family was there for the celebration, all the way from Spain and Ecuador! He had a fabulous time spending time with all of them. So, all in all, we had a great time with our travels throughout the summer.

In March, Meghan, Topher and TJ turned nine years old. Hard to believe when you look back at those early days that we made it so far. In August, the oldest four started back to school. James is in his final year of middle school, in the 8^th grade. Wow, high school is only a few months away for him. Yikes! Topher, TJ and Meghan are in 4^th grade this year. One more year in elementary school for them. Frankie will start kindergarten this coming August. Holy moly. James was on the cross country team this fall and fell right into the rhythm of being a runner. He has also participated in two 5K runs over the past few months and plans on doing more in the coming year. He is taking a break from sports during the winter months, but will try out for track and field in the spring. The triplets are all in the Odyssey of the Mind program after school and Joe is their team’s coach. (OM is a fabulous program. If you get a chance, check it out online at odysseyofthemind.com) They also participated in Super Saturdays at the University of NC-Asheville for six consecutive Saturdays in the fall. It is an enrichment program for A/B students. Topher took a class called Math Discoveries; TJ took hand-built pottery; and Meghan took beginning knitting. They will undoubtedly do it again in the spring. All three of them are also in the chorus in school. As you can imagine, all these activities keep us all hopping, but they’re fun and the kids are learning so much. We are so very proud of each and every one of them for their talents and accomplishments.

We spent a lot of time this summer and fall canning. Made our traditional trek out to Hendersonville to the orchard for apple picking in early September. Our canning this year included: bread and butter pickles, dill pickles, peach butter, 49 quarts of grape juice (from our own grape vine!), applesauce, apple butter, apple pie filling in a jar, and spiced apple rings. We ended up running out of room to store our canned treasures, so Joe built a gorgeous canning shelf which sits regally in our dining room, filled with beautiful jars of our concoctions.

We are still loving our beautiful old farmhouse and we are decking it out for the holidays, of course. The kids are excited about Christmas and we’re having fun making and baking cookies and candies and other holiday favorite goodies. Christmas Eve will find us at church and then home for our grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup dinner. Christmas day will find us up early, opening gifts and sipping coffee and hot cocoa in our jammies and then having our traditional Christmas day dinner of leg of lamb and other yummies with family. We always hope for a white Christmas, but chances are slim on that one.

We love you all and are blessed to have you in our lives. Enjoy this special time of the year and know that you are in our thoughts and our hearts!

Love and Peace,

The Kanes-Lori, Joe, James, Topher, Meghan, TJ and Frankie

It is my sincere hope that everyone had as wonderful a Thanksgiving as we did here at Hearth Haven (what we have named our home). The bounty of blessings that enveloped us all in the form of loving friends and family, the enticing aromas and flavors of home cooked food, the chatter of all the voices and soothing music in the background warmed us through and through.

And now, we are headed into December. We always begin the month with a birthday celebration for our oldest son, James. This year he is going to be 14. Still not sure how that happened, it has. And he is growing into such an incredible young man. Kind, considerate, empathic, caring, honest and loving. We couldn’t be prouder.

Then it will be into the homestretch as we approach Christmas. A great deal of thought and time goes into our gift exchanging. We used to find ourselves caught up in the ‘gotta haves’ but have learned  how much more special the holidays have become since forethought and care and consideration have become the norm. What would mean the most to this person? Is there something I can make for him/her? What are their needs and desires right now? It’s become not about how much but about how much thought.

Thanksgiving 2009

We need to be conscious this time of year of how deeply commercialization of this season has prevaded our society and we need to try to steer away from some of it and make the holidays more of what they should be. A time for being together, for sharing and for loving. And that does not have to mean breaking the bank or hurting our planet. Here are some ideas that I hope help us all.

Keep it simple. One thoughtful gift means much more than a pile of wrapped packages of unwanted gifts. Draw names or share the cost of a gift with a relative or friend.

Make your own gifts: knit, sew, paint, crochet, bake or make recycled art.

Look for gifts that are: durable; not overly packaged; reusable; energy efficient; recyclable; and not made from tropical woos like teak, rosewood or mahogany.

Look for gifts that are made of natural components, like sustainable harvested woods, natural fiber, or glass.

When choosing toys for children, choose items that won’t impact their health.

Purchase gifts from local vendors or that were locally made.

Give a membership or donate in the name of friend to an organization they feel strongly about.

Give a gift certificate of your time for babysitting, housecleaning, meal preparation, pet sitting.

Help someone start a garden. Give them seed and tools. Help plant, weed and water.

Plant a tree in someone’s name.

Create a recipe book from your favorite collection.

Create a photo book or make a calendar for the coming year using your own photos.

For Children

Box of dress up clothes

Makings for hand puppets

Homemade bird feeder kit.

Teach a child knitting or some other favorite craft of yours. (This will last a lifetime!)

Write and illustrate a story with the child as the main character.

Create a photo album of the year with photos of the child doing fun things.

It’s almost the big day. The kids are talking about their favorite things to eat. Our tree of giving looks beautiful and I’m so glad our children know how blessed they are. Today we made our stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin cake. We toasted our slivered almonds and pine nuts for the sauteed green beans. Did some other prep work, too, so more time can be spent sitting and visiting with our family and friends. I’ll be picking up my mother in Hendersonville around 9am then come back to get the turkey in the oven. The rest of our guests will be here around 2pm. In the morning, we will also watch the Macy’s Parade, as is our tradition. I guess tonight we’ll be dreaming of turkey, gravy, ham and sweet potatoes.

Happy Thanksgiving, one and all!

Our Tree of Thanks

The preparations for our Thanksgiving feast are well under way. Joe just went to his mother’s to pick up our extra long table. Last night the kids and I made our pumpkin pie. Today we’ve made the stuffing, a pumpkin cake, whole berry cranberry sauce, and toasted the nuts for the sauteed green beans. The kids have also cut out all the leaves for our Tree of Thanks which will be on display tomorrow. Everyone will write some things they are thankful for on the leaves and then hang them on the tree.

We’ve cleaned out the refrigerators (yes, we have two. With a family of seven, it’s pretty much a necessity!) to make sure there’s room for everything. The turkey is thawing. I’ve made what I hope is my last run to the grocery store. Things that need to be refrigerated are in the frig, just chillin’.

And we have such a beautiful to celebrate. The sky is blue and it’s in the low 60′s. Thank you, Universe!

What’s on yours?

Thanksgiving at the Kane’s

Turkey

Blackberry and Kahlua glazed ham

Sausage and pecan stuffing

Sweet potato casserole topped with mini-marshmallows (per Frankie’s request)

Sautéed fresh green beans

Jellied cranberry sauce

Homemade whole cranberry sauce

Caviar pie

Deviled eggs

Apple rings

Mandarin orange sections

Cresent rolls

Creamed onions

Gravy

Banana bread

Pumpkin ginger bread

Homemade pickles (dills and bread & butter)

Apple pie

Pumpkin pie

Berry cobbler

Pecan pie

Pumpkin cake

Oh, yeah, a big nap afterwards!

Thanksgiving 2008

Twas the night before the night before Thanksgiving at our house. We are cutting out foam board leaves to decorate our Thanksgiving branches with leaves filled with things we are thankful for. The kids are having a great time and are spending time thinking about those many things in their lives they have for which to give thanks. A special pondering and one we should all do on a daily basis, not just once a year. After dinner, we will make our pumpkin pie and a pumpkin cake (my husband’s favorite!). Tomorrow we will work on stuffing, homemade whole cranberry sauce and berry cobbler. We made our pumpkin and banana breads over the weekend. Our house shall be full on Thanksgiving day with our gang of seven, my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, my mother, and our dear friends, Dawn and Thomas and their son, Jed. Looking forward to breaking bread with some very special people in our lives!

On Sunday, we headed out to Edneyville to pick apples at our favorite apple pickin’ place, Justus Orchards. We just love the setting, the atmosphere and the warm welcome we always receive from the owners.

Although hail damage was evident from the severe thunderstorm we had the week before, there were more than enough beautiful apples to be picked. And pick we did; three bushels full of those glorious, sweet orbs. We always pick a large variety, as I like to mix the different types together in my asundry apple concoctions. Adds more flavor, in my opinion.

And so, the apple madness has begun at our dining room table and in our kitchen. For the past three days, and probably for the next four days, apples have been being peeled, sliced and canned, in one form or another. We have done, at this writing, two batches of crockpot apple butter, two batches of stove top applesauce, a batch of ‘apple pie filling in a jar’, and right now, there is a batch of applesauce slow cooking in the crockpot. And, we’ve only worked through half of the apples. Oh, but I tell you, the smell of apples simmering away, mixed with cinnamon and nutmeg; there’s not much that can top that heavenly, autumal aroma!

Joe and I were just sitting on the front porch, in our respective rocking chairs, discussing our lack of storage for all these jars. With all the apples being put up, as well as all the jars of peaches, pickles and grape juice we’ve done over the summer, we need more space. So, Joe is going to build a special canning shelf for the corner of the dining room. Yippee!