First day of Spring and what a beautiful day it is. Sunny, not a cloud in the sky.  Birds are singing and building their spring nests. The pansies and geraniums I planted in the pots on the front porch are gorgeous. Supposed to be almost 70 this afternoon. Welcome, Spring. We sure need you after this long, crazy and snow-filled winter. James and Tyler have cleaned out the chicken coop as we need to get ready for some chicks after the raccoons decimated our flock before Christmas. I have donned my apron this morning and have 2 ½ dozen blueberry muffins in the oven. Quiches to follow shortly. Frankie has been playing with his new sidewalk chalk in the driveway and Meghan, Topher and TJ are at their respective classes at UNCA for Super Saturdays.
Yesterday was another gorgeous day. Frankie and I met with a tax client then we had lunch on the sidewalk at Clingman Café. Kitty joined us as we enjoyed our lunches and sat in the sun. She’s a sidewalk café dog! Love it. After that we went to the French Broad River park for a half hour walk. They have a doggie park there, too, so we let Kitty play. She is so NOT aggressive toward other dogs. She just wanted to be near people and be pet. When the other dogs came to sniff her, she would just roll over. Not an ounce of aggression in her  sweet heart. We left there and drove just down the road to Carrier Park so Frankie could play on the playground there for a little while. It was a nice afternoon. Last night was Meghan’s night to go out with me. We headed back to Carrier Park and took another half hour walk. I think half of Asheville’s residents were out there soaking up the inspiring weather. After that we went to India Garden for wonderful curried meal. I love that her tastes are open to the exotic. We had a fun night out, spending mother-daughter time together.
I’m following my plan with the health resolution. Eating well, taking my supplements and getting exercise. The Celexa withdrawal symptoms are easing every day. I am already feeling better about myself and what I am doing to help myself. It will be a step-by-step, day by day, journey and one that will last a lifetime, but I’m ready for that. And I’m not denying myself things. Not cutting out entire food groups. This has to be something I can live with, so eating healthier, smaller portions is going to be a key. That along with daily movement will make a difference. I need to accept and understand that it’s not going to be dramatic, fast weight loss and I need to know, in my heart, that that’s okay. A couple pounds a week must become acceptable to me and I need to not become discouraged when it doesn’t happen overnight, knowing that with each day, I’m becoming healthier and stronger. The scale, the numbers, cannot rule my life. That is such a hurdle for me.
Poor Jennifer. Had to take Shayla to the hospital last night. She is having surgery this morning as they found she has some sort of blockage in her intestines. I stand in honor of Jennifer. How she finds the strength to get through all this, to fight these battles is beyond me. A year and a half ago, on Jennifer’s birthday, little Miss Shay was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. She’s come through that; it’s in remission, and now she is hit with whatever this is. It just seems so unfair to me. All that Jenn, Shay and Savannah are going through. The battle rages on. My prayers are that the opposing armies will retreat and leave these beautiful girls alone.
Enough already. Jennifer is my hero. Her strength an inspiration.

Recently,  in a large city in France ,
a poster  featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a  gym.
It said,  ”This summer,
do you want  to be a mermaid or a whale?”

A middle aged woman, whose  physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the  poster,
responded  publicly to the question
posed by  the gym.

To Whom it May Concern, Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have  an active sex life,
get  pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time  with dolphins stuffing themselves with  shrimp.
They play  and swim in the seas,
seeing  wonderful places like Patagonia ,
the Bering  Sea
and the  coral reefs of Polynesia .
Whales are  wonderful singers
and have  even recorded CDs.
They are incredible  creatures
and  virtually have no predators
other than  humans.
They are  loved, protected and admired
by almost  everyone in the world..

Mermaids don’t exisit.If they did  exist,
they would  be lining up outside the offices
of  Argentinean psychoanalysts
due to  identity crisis. Fish or human?
They don’t  have a sex life
because  they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they  have sex?
Just look  at them … where is IT?
Therefore,  they don’t have kids either.
Not to  mention,
who wants  to get close to a girl who smells
like a fish  store?
The choice is perfectly clear to  me:
I want to  be a whale.
P..S. We are in an age
when media  puts into our heads
the idea  that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice  cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and  a piece of chocolate with my friends.
With time,  we gain weight
because we  accumulate so much information and wisdom in our  heads
that when  there is no more room,
it  distributes out to the rest of our bodies.
So we aren’t  heavy,
we are  enormously cultured,
educated  and happy.
Beginning today,
when I look  at my butt in the mirror I will think, Good grief, look how smart I  am!

Weighed in at 200.0 this morning. But, that’s seven pounds less than I was at the first of the year. And it’s only going to get better from this moment forward. My whole view has changed and for the better.

I went for a 30 minute walk/intermittent jog (not much but a start) already this morning. We are so fortunate where we live. Just around the bend, there is a beautiful walking road. As I walked, I watched the puffs of white and gray shaded clouds glide across the blue morning sky. The cows were out by the fences, having their morning meal and we greeted each other with due respect. I also spoke with the Canada geese who were sharing the field with the cows. Every now and then, one of them would take flight and then land in the still pond that is on the other side of the road. The air was crisp and the breeze fluttered past me as I walked. I pushed through the aches in my calves, knowing that as each day passes, the pain will lessen and last a shorter period of time. Buzzards circled above one of the fields and I could hear the crows conversing in the distance. I even spotted two bluebirds flitting along the fence line. As I walked, I concentrated on my breathing and enjoying the ‘me’ time, knowing that I am doing this for me, for the divine which resides in me, and taking care of that spirit.

After I returned from my walk, I actually ate breakfast, also. A rarity for me, but one that is going to become less so. Had some fresh eggs (thanks to our chickens) and multi-grain toast. I must learn to honor myself and treat myself as the sacred being that I am. This is not to sound snobbish, just learning that we are all sacred, part of the divine and should treat ourselves and others as such.

Oh, yeah, today is new and beautiful and wondrous day. I’m dancing the waltz of life!

“Mommy, they’re saying that Scrappy is fat!” whined Topher one morning at the breakfast table. “Honey, Scrappy is fat. He’s a teddy bear. Teddy bears are supposed to be fat. You wouldn’t want a skinny teddy bear. Then he wouldn’t be so squishable.” I told him to try to ease the hurt of his siblings’ words. “Yeah”, said T.J., “like mommy. She’s squishable.” Hmmm, brave boy? “Are you saying I’m fat, T.J.?” I asked with an offended look on my face. “Oh, no, mommy,” giggle, giggle, “you’re just squishable.” with more giggles from around the table. “Ooooh, T.J., you’re going to be in trouble.” James whispered to him. Of course, he wasn’t. I couldn’t argue with facts. They’ve got me there, I must admit I am squishable. No doubt about it, but I think I’ll adopt the squishable title. I like that better than fat (or whatever the politically correct term would be) anyway.

Guess I definitely need to jump on that 2009 New Year’s resolution and get my squishable self in better shape!